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When
I came to office, there was a world con sense us that
global warming was a clear and
present danger.
In
keeping with my promise to think "outside the box"
about America's problems, I questioned whether global warming
was really a problem Americans should be worried about.
I
set up a new panel of experts and asked them to investigate
further. When they told me that, yes, global warming really
was a problem, I set up another panel and asked
them to try again.
Several
panels later, I have finally concluded that, global warming
will have as many benefits as drawbacks.
 More
flowers, for example--and we'll be able to enjoy
them during much longer summers.
More
beach time, more flowers--and a
$3.50 tax refund...just a few of the things YOU
can expect from my residency...I mean presidency!
And
I would just like to remind the protestors
in Sweden who are planning to MOON me that I was mooning
authority when you all were still in your red reusable diapers! |
