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   Fellow Emurikans, I'm speaking to you today to announce a great advance in justice and democracy. For the last 5 years, my brother Jeb and his girlfriend Katherine Harris have been conducting an important experiment under the auspices of the secret "Florida State Department of PRE-CRIME."

   As you know, convicted felons in most states lose their right to vote for life. In Florida they have now developed a technique to see into the future and TO SEE WHO WILL ONE DAY COMMIT FELONIES. Now we can disenfranchise felons BEFORE they commit their crimes. Obviously this improves our democracy because we won't have the votes of future felons skewing election results. In the 2000 presidential election, there were enough PRE-FELLONS removed from the voting rolls to change the results of the election for the WHOLE COUNTRY.

   The PRE-CRIME methodology for determining future felons is ingeniously simple: WE KNOW THEY WILL COMMIT A FELONYBECAUSE THEY ARE BLACK.

   While it's true that in Florida 80% of registered black voters showed up to vote for AL GORE in the 2000 election, I reject all charges that the PRE-CRIME program is politically motivated. However, perhaps it does say something about the Democrats that so many of their supporters are future felons

Now we would like to take PRE-CRIME national -- and begin purging all of the nations voter rolls of future Democratic-voting felons. We have the technology, we have the audacity, we have the press in our pockets, so just watch us do it!

2004...HERE WE COME!

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PLEASE NOTE: The fact on which this parody is based is TRUE. Hundreds of black voters were removed from Florida voting rolls before the 2000 election BECAUSE THEY WILL COMMITT FELLONIES IN THE FUTURE. Thousands more were removed because their names PARTIALLY matched the names of convicted fellons. These are established facts that have been reported (on page 23B) in the mainstream press. Please read this article. Or just view this file from Katherine Harris's computer, which says it all.

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