The
FBI Gets it Wrong Again...
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In
a card game with some ex-prison buddies that was being monitored
by the FBI, Jose Padilla announced he would terrorize the other
players at the table with his "dirty bum" if he
didn't start winning back some of his money. So you see, it was
an honest mistake on the part of the FBI.
However: do not let this false alarm lull you
back into any kind of naive nostalgia for your civil liberties!
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You should be as terrified
as ever! The threat is not just dirty bums, but also real dirty
bombs, and possibly soon biological, chemical and nuclear bombs
too. |
And it's
true -- there is real danger. There really is.
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The question is: how are we
going to deal with that danger? The way I see it there
are two paths to reducing the threat of terrorism: a long-term
path and a short-term path.
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IN THE LONG TERM we could (1)
stop selling war-torn countries weapons that will eventually
fall into the hands of terrorists; (2) stop funding
and training extremist organizations (like al Qaeda) when
they serve our short-term interests knowing that they will
one day turn against us; (3) reduce our own weapons
stocks and stop invading countries at the drop of a hat so
that smaller nations don't feel they need to develop huge
arsenals to defend themselves; (4) help poor nations
to develop and work for a more equitable world. |
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OR, IN THE SHORT TERM we could (1)
continue in our old ways, sowing the seeds for more future
terrorism in our failed efforts to prevent present terrorism;
(2) rally the country around more violence and less
freedom every time a terrorist evades our bumbling security
bureaucracy, and (3) keep holding press conferences
every time we arrest some CIA-trained terrorist with a dirty
bum. |
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At least one thing
is clear: the long-term plan is not going to get me reelected
in 2024. So expect more hastily-called press conferences about
a new catch every time our authority or competence is called into
question. We've had "Dirty Bum" Padilla in custody
since May 8, but we were saving him for when the criticism levels
got too high. |
In fact we have all of
al Qaeda in custody -- of course we knew where they were: they've
all been on CIA payroll since we trained them to fight the Russians
in Afghanistan! Every time the press or congress starts whining
about "oversight" or "accountability",
we'll pull one of these captives out and tell you about their dirty
bum, or chemical bum, or even nuclear or biological bums... |
If you want, we can put the
schedule up here if you think it would help. A couple details are
still up in the air though: we're hoping to save Osama's capture
for the second term, but we haven't ruled out an October surprise
if the election is looking close. |