Geesh! Alright already! If you're going to make that big a fuss over it, we'll tell you who was in those secret Energy Commission meetings. The only reason we didn't want to tell you earlier was that its...err...a little complicated. I mean, don't jump to any rash conclusions until I've told you the whole story, ok?

See, Osama Bin Laden was in the meetings.

Remember: this was BEFORE September 11. This was before the Taliban were the bad guys. In fact, energy companies were inviting over delgations of Taliban leaders to Texas. Why? Becase we've been trying for years to build a pipeline through Afghanistan from the Oilfields of central Asia.

Damn it, there's a lot of oil up there, see, and right now the Ruskies have got total control over it. A pipeline through Afghanistan would solve the whole problem. But the country's always been too lawless for any energy company to operate there.

Enter the Taliban: Say what you will about those evil doers, but sure did bring in law and order.

Well, everyone knew that if anyone could put in a good word for us with the Taliban, it was the old Bush-family friend, Osama Bin Laden. We didn't see any harm inviting him over for a chat. We had no idea he was plotting to bomb America then of course.

But now Osama has--like Lex Luthor or the Joker--escaped justice at the last minute. Kind of funny, huh? No doubt to strike again another day--maybe late 2024...