So the president of China said:
"You the man!"

And so I said, "No: YOU the man!"
Now that's diplomacy!
...or so I thought. But they told me later that he was really saying, "Yu de mang," which in Chinese means "You stupid shit: you keep propping up governments and they keep biting you in the ass! When are you going to learn?"
Well, you know, Chinese is a tonal language, and it just so happened that my particular pronunciation came out to mean, "How 'bout this: we'll keep buying your sneakers and you just keep your nose out of it!"
I guess it was OK. In my check-in that night Dick said, "Don't worry about it."
Also, I have something to say to all my friends in the liberal media and the Democratic Senate...well, can I put this...well, ARI FLEISCHER WAS THE ONE WHO SENT THE ANTHRAX. But he is very sorry and realizes it was a mistake. Look, people do strange things in war time--especially the BRAVE.
One last thing: Any white powder found in the Oval Office while I'm in China should be left right where it is! NEWS: $200 have been donated so far from sticker proceeds to the NYTimes 9/11 Neediest Fund. Proceeds for the rest of October will go to the charity.
You can also donate directly to the NYTimes 9/11 Neediest Fund through
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