 Yes,
your President has heard the calls from the American people
to please come back and fix the mess that this country is in.
'Mr. President!,' they've urged me. ' Come back to the White
House. The economy is sinking. We're getting laid off from our
jobs. The surplus is melting quicker than the Polar Caps. We
got hurricanes and tornadoes. California is out of Power. Cheney's
heart is hanging on by a
string...
I
say: ' LET ME PLAY GOLF!'
I
still got a few holes to finish up on, and I think I can make
par here. So let me be. As you know, there's nothing the Federal
Government can do anything about all your little problems.
We won't solve any problems by throwing money on it. We won't
help school kids by giving them smart teachers or books. We
won't make your ride better by fixing up highways. We won't
help the poor by treating thier illnesses or trying to educate
them. America, We can't do it!
John
Kennedy once said that 'Its not what your country can do for
you..its what you can do for your country " I say its
not what government can do, its about how much money we can
save! So I urge you, as my father once urged you during the
last recession: "Get over it!' Pick yourself up from
your bootstraps, America. Show some spunk. Go get a job!
Why
should I waste my time coming down to Washington, when I can
get a few holes in? The truth is, even if I did come down
there, I wouldn't really listen to you anyway. And don't even
think for one second that you are getting any money out of
this Administration.
Why, even if we had money to give -- and after the tax cut,
we don't -- you know I wouldn't give it to you anyway. And
even if I tried to, Cheney wouldn't let me.
Listen,
that guy with the white hair who was President before me spoiled
you. Everytime you called, he would come running. Well, I
ain't like that. And after this trip to Kennebunkport, I'll
probably spend a couple of days at the ranch in Crawford.
Yeah, I know, I'm supposed to have a meeting with Valdimir
Putin about my missle shield, but I got to get some down time
here....
[Many thanks to DangFunny.com
for this submission!]
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